Dogs and babies

Do you have a dog who is part of your family? Are you expecting a baby? You might find our experience useful...

We have a four year old dog named Oskar who is part of our family and as my darling husband  would say »he was brought up in attachment parenting style« :-) As you can imagine Oskar is very attached to us and at some point of my pregnancy he got very protective and he didn't let anyone close to me. I was quite relaxed and I felt that his behavior will sort out when the baby is born. But many people were scaring me with all kind of horrible stories about how dogs attacked babies. Just before Jun was born we got a contact to a vet who specializes in dog psychology. It sounds a bit wared to take a dog to a shrink but as responsible parents we thought it might help. Her suggestions were indeed helpful. The whole point is that your dog has to associate baby with positive feelings. But as a young and unexperienced parent you would probably intuitively do just the opposite like for example play with your dog when baby is asleep and put dog in another room when you are trying to calm a crying baby. So here is what she suggested us and also some of our ideas that made our »new family life« easier:
- In the last couple of months before birth try to slowly reduce attention you are giving to your dog. However you have to give him a lot of attention after the baby is born. As you probably won’t have so much time in the first couple of weeks is good idea to ask someone that the dog likes to take him for a long walk and play. My mother and sister-in-law did a great job. Oskar returned home so tired that he didn’t mind the screaming baby and he peacefully slept on his sofa.
- Don't change house rules immediately before or after the baby comes home. On contrary it's better to add some privileges to your “dog's list” after the baby arrives.
- Let someone bring your and baby's clothes or blankets from the hospital and put them around the flat so dog can get used to the new smell and relate it to you.
- When you come home you should be the first to enter and give a big »hello« to your dog.
- Than bring in the baby and put her on the floor in the car seat and let the dog smell her. Be relaxed because dog can feel your tension. He will probably just sniff the baby briefly and then turn back to you. He had missed you a lot.
- Give your dog a new interesting toy the day you return from the hospital. He will relate baby's arrival with something positive.
- When baby is asleep try not to interact to much with the dog. On contrary, when baby is awake and especially if he is crying someone has to play with the dog. This way he will relate baby's crying with the play.
- We always keep some snack for our dog on the changing table and on the places where I am usually breastfeeding. So Oskar gets a treat while baby is given attention.
- Never leave dog and your baby alone in the room. Babies can sometimes grab the dog's ear or tail which can hurt and animal in pain is quite unpredictable.
- Don't forget to play, walk and cuddle your dog after the baby is born. It is quite challenging to find some time for you dog in the first couple of weeks so it is good to have some help.
- Gently introduce the dog to your baby. Babies love animals and usually they become best friends. But it takes some time for them to get to used to each other. In our case Oskar is the only one that can always put Jun in good mood with his entertaining performances 
- When you walk your dog it is easier to have your baby in the carrier, bacause it might get quite unmanageable to have your dog and a stroller in each hand.
- Don't get stressed with dirt and germs. If you live with a dog you can't expect to have a spotless home. And yes, the dog will eventually lick your baby's hands and face. So it's better to get used to it and live with it. 
- Be sure to keep your dog healthy and regularly checked by vet.
- If your dog is used to sleep in your bed you might consider changing this habit. But do it well before your baby is born. If you will not succeed and still end up co-sleeping with the whole family be careful that there is no chance that dog could overlay a baby. And be sure not to mention co-sleeping with dog to your pediatrician or even worse to you mother-in-law :-).

You can find more ideas on how to introduce new baby by Stan Rawlinson, a Dog Behaviorist and Obedience Trainer here.

In our experience dogs and babies can easily grow together if you take some precaution. But even more important you should be very flexible. This should actually the first bullet on the list because life with dogs and babies is quite challenging :-). You should see me with our big boy in the sling, Oskar in one hand and the other hand full of grocery shopping. And if I am lucky enough there is a cat just crossing a street in front of us…I better don’t explain the “cartoon scene” in more detail. But you will definitely never be bored with the zoo in your house. And there is nothing more memorable than Jun’s delightful laughter when Oskar preforms with his toys.

Growing up with dogs (or other pets) can give a child some of the most positive lessons in life. They will learn about sharing, caring and the most important they will experience the unconditional love.

Comments

[Gaby]

Tudi mi imamo psa doma. Nasveti in pomisleki okolice so bili podobni kot pri vas. Zdaj se pa noben ne more nacuditi kako veliki prijatelji so. Puncka (17 mesecev) ima dnevni obred, ko s pomocjo skodelice zajame brikete in jih nese psicki. Druga drugi poklonita veliko neznosti. Je pa vsekakor treba opozoriti, da je otroka treba vzgajati v smislu ravnanja z zivalmi in da je razno vlacenje za rep in usesa, tepenje psa, vsekakor nedopustno. Stars mora nauciti otroka, da je tudi zival zivo bitje in da je z njo potrebno pravilno ravnati.. Sama sem prepricana, da lahko dobi otrok od psa zelo veliko in obratno.

[Anja]

Thanks Gaby. It is nice to read that your girl made such a wonderful friendship with your dog. I have to admit that female dogs are more gentle to babies- it's probably because of their mothering instinct. However with male dogs we have to be a bit careful as they often become quite competitive. In the last two days Oskar was acting quite strange and he wanted to fight with Jun for a toy. It happened for the first time. So, now we will be more careful when food or toys are around. I agree that we have to teach children to be gentle and sensitive toward dogs and all other animals. And we are their role models.