Skinship

What is skinship?

The concept of skinship was described by Debbie Treijs in the Mothering magazine (september, 1999)...

"Skinship is a Japanese/English word developed during a World Health Organization meeting in Japan in 1940. It describes the physical closeness between a mother and her child. When a child receives an abundance of skinship, the child is better able to handle stressful situations and will mature into an emotionally stable adult."

She goes beyond presenting the importance of physical contact between the mother and a child by introducing a Japanese phylosophy of childhood and parenting. They have an old saying stating that the first three years in a child's life are believed to be the most critical to their development as an adult. During those early, formative years, two basic needs must always be met: food and security. The need for food or nourishment is met through breastfeeding and a healthy diet from the mother; the need for security is satisfied through "skinship."

I am learning more and more about Japanese culture every day and I will share some insights with you in the following posts.

Greetings from fantastic and incredibly baby-friendly Tokyo :-)

Winter is coming...it's time for mama jackets

If you are pregnant or are babywearing your little one, you will love those mama-jackets and mama-ponchos. They can be used all the way through pregnancy and are very useful when you are wearing your baby or toddler in any kind of soft carrier (slings, poches, mei-tais, etc.). You can carry your baby in front or at the back.
We are using mama poncho all the time...while baby wearing and also while Jun is in the stroller where it turns into a comfortable and warm blanket.

For more details, photos and purchasing click here.

Skinship groups

Dear readers,

I would like to invite you to join us at Mother's click. I've created two goups for parents who believe in attachment parenting, want to share their ideas, ask for advice or just have a chat with similarly minded parents.

First group is called Skinship and can be found here. It is open for all English speaking readers who share passion for connected and respectful parenting, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, babywearing, cloth diapers or elimination communication and much more.

Since many of Skinship readers come from Slovenia and feel more comfortable communicating in Slovenian I've created a Slovene group called "Moja Mami". You can join us at MojaMami web page.

To join any of the groups you have to register here. You can also upload your picture. The web platform used at Mother's click enables us to use several services from posting notes, activities, managing group calendar, posting photos, posting reviews, and much more.

I wish you a great fun using the service and hope to meet you online soon.

Anja

Cross-nursing or wet-nursing

Did you ever consider breastfeeding a child who is not yours? The practice is called cross-nursing or wet-nursing and is as old as our society. Formula milk has only been available since the early 1900s. Before then wet-nursing was the only way a baby could survive if the mother was ill or absent. In only three generations this old practice has become socially unacceptable. Most people wouldn’t mind getting the breast milk from the milk bank but at the same time they usually couldn’t imagine to let another women breastfeed their baby. Why is wet-nursing such tabu?

Here is a great article from the Guardian entitled “Not your mother’s milk”.

I like how the author concludes the article: “I wonder if our attitudes towards the "freakishness" of wet-nursing betray what we really think about breastfeeding itself. We still don't completely accept it as what it is - natural, normal, instinctive.”

 
There is also quite extensive research being carried ob by Rhonda Shaw, a sociologist at the Victoria University of Wellington, New Zealand. In a study entitled The Virtues of Cross-Nursing - and the Yuk Factor she is researching contemporary cross-nursing practices. She came up with some interesting results…more about them in my next posts.

Nursing is more than breastfeeding

Take couple o minutes to read this beautiful article by dr. Linda Folden Palmer. She explains why there is a lot more to breastfeeding than nutrition and immunity.

Breastfeeding advocates mainly focus on the importance its nutritive and immune support roles but breastfeeding is designed to be much more than just providing food. "It is a time for nursing, a time for comfort and nurturing. This is a time for studying and memorizing each other’s faces, for speaking or singing to your baby and developing her trust and nonverbal communication."

The article is based on several scientific studies but what gives it the real value is the human warmth and understanding of the most basic baby’s needs for nourishment and comfort. And responding to those needs can give you and your baby a wonderful beginning.

“In your arms or snuggled alongside you, your baby is nurtured by the snuggly warmth of your body and comforted by your familiar scent (pheromones). He hears the beat of your heart and the sound of your voice. His neurons and hormones program him to desire and flourish in this environment — a means of ensuring his protection, survival and optimal development.”

Continue reading the article here!

More great articles by dr. Linda Folden Palmer and presentation of her book “Baby Matters: What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Caring for Your Baby” can be found on her web page.

The article also stresses an important point that I often miss in breastfeeding literature; nursing, cuddling and skinship are not only for breastfeeding babies. Bottlefeeding children can also enjoy this truly peaceful time with their mothers!

Baby and infant massage

In one of the previous posts we were writing about baby massage in first hours and days after birth. When you and your baby get used to those gentle moves you can advance your technique and start with more efficient massage. We attended a baby massage class when Jun was 5 weeks old and since than we practice it almost every day. Before I was only reading about the benefits but now I can say it really works. It’s great for mothers (or fathers) and babies. 

Baby massage can bring much more than just quality time to you and your baby. The physical contact that develops through massage is great for building strong emotional bond with your baby. However there are many scientifically proven benefits of baby massage. The studies suggest that skinship improves baby’s breathing, circulation, digestion and growth. Research has shown that massage can calm colicky babies, improve sleeping patterns and even help babies who have trouble nursing to breastfeed successfully. Baby massage is very beneficial for mothers as it helps you relax, get used to handling with your baby and some studies prove that it even helps you fight postnatal depression. You can read more about baby massage in this article by BBC. The best way to learn the massage technique is from a certified instructor. However, many books and videos can also be ordered online.

To get some idea on how baby massage looks like I recommend this great video. It explains the importance of baby massage, when is the best time to do it, it shows some massage techniques, explains which oil is best and what we should know before getting started. And one important thing that I’ve learned from this video is to always ask you baby for permission :-)

Baby massage after birth

Written by Mojca Kurent and published with author's permission (Translated by Anja Cotic Svetina)

 
After birth, which itself is quite a traumatic experience for a baby, it is important to provide an environment which to a great extent resembles the womb-like environment. In the first minutes and hours after birth newborns are extremely sensitive. As parents we can greatly contribute that their first impression of the outside world be as gentle as possible.

We can do that by:

• cutting the cord after it becomes pale and stops beating

• immediately continue with skinship (skin-to-skin contact)

• gently and carefully clean the nose and breathing canals

• provide quiet and dark environment

• leave the natural newborn's protection by not washing vernix layer off the skin.

Immediately after birth when your baby is peacefully lying on your body, you can start with a very sensitive and gentle massage. You take some organic fruit or vegetable oil and warm it in your palms, than you slowly caress your baby from neck to toes. After the first massage, which only lasts for couple of minutes you wrap your baby with a warm blanket or towel. This first gentle and relaxing touch helps baby to relax after birth and get positive impression of the life outside the womb.

 

In the following days you can continue to build skinship by patting our baby with warm and oily hands. The best is side-lying position after nursing. You put your bare-skinned baby next to you and caress her from shoulders down her hands, continue down her chest, hips and legs. After that you can use circle clock-wise moves on baby's back. You repeat those moves on the other side of baby's body by simply placing yourself on the other side of baby.

 
The other way of this first massage is to place your baby tummy-to-tummy on your bare chest. Than pat her by crossing her back from one shoulder from the opposite hip. Than repeat it from the opposite shoulder.

 

In those first days you can massage your baby twice a day for 5-8 minutes. When the baby accepts this routine you can continue with more sophisticated massage technique that using firmer and more effective moves. You can learn baby massage in classes held by certified instructors.

About the author:

Mojca Kurent is a nurse who dedicated her life to babies and young toddlers. She is constantly deepening her knowledge and skills as massage therapist, nutritionist and parenting consultant. Through her work she encourages parents to communicate with their children and parent them with patience and love. Her goal is to inspire the parents to provide their babies with health, creativity, inner peace, pride and compassion. She consults young parents in the areas of healthy lifestyle, baby massage, and nutrition. She strongly believes in what she calls »parenting from the heart«. You can get more information of her work at her site or visit her »mama and baby« exercise classes every week in Pilates center.

Baby wearing…how to start?

The other day my friend asked "How did you start wearing your baby?". She got her baby few weeks ago and she wanted to start wearing him. I had to think a little bit on how we got started…We got our first sling as a present few months before Jun was born. It came with Japanese instructions and you can imagine how much time it took us to figure out how to use it. Add to this the skills of first-time parents and a tiny little baby that you are afraid to even touch. So for the first three weeks we went for the proven method…holding him in arms or lying next to him. But we soon became enough experienced and self confident to try to put him in a sling. It was a discovery…finally our arms were free and Jun was peacefully sleeping or watching us. Since than the sling is a lifesaver for us.
What you need to know before you start babywearing:
• Select your carrier carefully. Things to consider: safety, health issues (consider the young spine development), comfort (for you and the baby), suitability for breastfeeding, softness and durability of the material, age of the baby, your lifestyle, who will mostly carry the baby, the ease of use and of course the price. There are many baby carriers on the market. You can find the widest selection with product reviews of different baby carriers on The Babywearer or Childcarriers. For my recommendation of carriers see previous post.
• Try the carrier before buying it. It is hard to find a carrier that would fill everyone. I advice you to try a carrier before buying it. You can borrow it from your friends. Many shops even offer “rent-a-sling” which is great idea. You can use a carrier for a week or so and than decide wich type fits you and your baby. If you live in Sloveniayou can rent a sling here.
• It is almost impossible to use the same carrier for all ages. Eventhough most producers promise that their carrier can be used from 0-36 months, this is not very good idea. There are so many trade-offs and you will probaby not find the one that fits-all stages optimally. I recommend you to choose one from 0-6 months and one from 6 months on. For the first period consider a sling or pouch style of carrier which enables you baby to lie in horizontal position (with flat back if possible) or cross-legged after 4 months. For the second period structured carriers that can be carried in front, hip and back position are probably the best.
• Make sure baby lies flat for the first 4 or even better 6 months. Read more about oxygen desaturation in previous post. A great carrier that allows this position is Zuco bed by Aprica. This year they introduced even new models, which all enable horizontal flat position for the first couple of months.
• When introducing a new carrier, do it slowly. Allow yourself and your baby to get used to a new carrier. Never put a crying or fussy baby in a carrier for the first time. Allways put a happy baby (usually after nursing) into the new carrier. Once he get used to a carrier and you both find the most comfortable position babywearing becomes the best pacifier in the world.
• Be careful. Before you master the art of babywearing you would probably use one or both hands to support your baby. It will make both of you more secure. Allways double check the carrier beofre you place your baby inside. Also be careful with sudden moves, when going through doorways or passing close to sharp objects. When bending allwys hold your baby firmly.
• Start babywearing as soon as possible. It enables you both to enjoy the benefits of baby wearing as early as possible. It also helps you to slowly build your muscles while your baby is getting heavier.
• Ignore “well-meaning” advice. When they are trying to convince you that babywering leads to spoiled kids, simply smile and ignore it. It will probably take too much of your time and energy to explain the evolutionary, emotional and scientific views of attachment parenting to someone who still believes that you can spoil a baby by being close to and responding to her needs.

You are very welcome to post comments describing your experience with babywearing, choosing the baby carrier or questions that you faced while getting used to carry your baby.